Ok..so for my whole life I have had a very fake relationship with my sister. Though she will never admit it, she has hated me and my mother. My opinion is that she blames us for me being sick and mom having to focus on me. I have tried my whole life hoping she may change or come around a little bit. But she never respected me, was never nice or even cordial, and it was always worse when we were around people. She portrays this "I'm so nice" but has never treated me that way. Friends have been her priority..for as long as I can remember. Family, was secondary...at best. Mom kept telling me maybe her having her own child would bring some clarity to her life and maybe she will change...well, nope!! Never happened. Her son is now over a year old and I have still not met him. She asks me all the time to come to Boston, because apparently they can only fly when going to visit friends, but they are unable to fly to visit us. She has asked many times that I send Jenna, by herself, on a plane...Ummm...hello...not gonna happen!! She doesn't get that...she doesn't understand why I would not do that. Well, I am sorry if I have to explain it to you, then it just isn't worth it. Anyways, she came to town a couple weeks ago, for work and it was for just a couple days. I have not seen her in years, and it was worse than I thought. The stress level goes up, her treatment of me is unchanged. I had to bring her back to the hotel one night and this was not planned...it just happened, finally after all these years, I was able to look her in the eye and be honest with her. I honestly think that is because my new outlook since my surgery. Life is too short. You know, when you are little, you want to be friends with everyone, but as you get older, and wiser you think wow, that person says their my friend but all their words and actions are opposite. So then you smarten up and decide you don't want that person as a friend, or even as a part of your life. It is, in a sense, toxic. I am a very emotional person, and have not confronted her, ever, because I always thought it wasn't worth it. Everything is always about her, except if it is something wrong, then it is everyone else's fault. She told me I was dead to her son because I haven't ever met him. And I looked at her and was very honest with her and told her that I have my own family, I do not have as much time and availability as she does in her life. Why would I choose to spend what little time I had to go visit you when basically you treat me like shit. I finally said it out loud. The reason I know damn well I have never gone to see her. I work too damn hard for my money and sure as shit I am not going to spend it to put myself in that situation. Certainly not on her turf. I won't allow myself to be treated like that in front of my daughter. She thinks I talk bad about her to Jenna, but I never have and never will. Jenna makes her own decision about her. The fact is she may send a pair of Uggs or something expensive, but never took the time to come visit for her entire life. She has maybe seen her 3 or 4 times. That was a choice that she made not to form a bond with Jenna when she was little and now she is sid that she won't respond to her texts or call her. I will not speak bad about her to Jenna, but Jenna is old enough to make her own choice if she wishes to talk to Julie. It has been a couple weeks and I still replay our talk and our email over in my head, and I can honestly say, for the first time in my life, I was true to myself when it comes to her. I have no regrets about what I said, and know she is my sister, but that has never really meant anything so nothing will be missed as far as that goes. I am 42 years old now, and I finally need to stop trying to please everyone and not say what is on my mind because I am afraid of hurting peoples feelings. The night we severed our relationship was the first time I have ever felt such a sense of relief....whatever will be between Jenna and her is up to Jenna...and how Julie decides how she wants to act to Jenna.
I write this because things circle my head and I have to get it out...but this isn't on facebook because it isn't about sharing..it is about just letting it out. There are a few of you that follow, so I am aware this may be read, but please understand, I wrote this for noone but me.
I am sure that is still a HUGE relief that you did that! I was witness to how "odd" the sitution was -- even knowing about the past before meeting her! Maybe just maybe -- you standing up to her will open her eyes eventually (may take years) and she will come back around. However, even if that never happens, you will know you stood up for yourself and your family -- and you have a huge weight released from your shoulders that has been weighing on your for many many years!!
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