So last night was pretty fantastic. Although I wasn't with Jenna and Eric, I was with my best friends in the whole world. I know those of you that will read this are going to laugh your behinds off, but here goes...we cleaned out a pantry, organized it and created an inventory list. I know you are all so completely jealous...but if you know my Bestie..you will know that last night was AMAZING for her...LOL
Anyways..along with the pantry organizing, we had some food, wine and great conversation..The kids were down and the 3 of us just sat and talked...about everything.
In the midst of our conversation, she makes a comment to her husband that this is why girls need girlfriends. It then hit me...it's not about girlfriends, but it is about True Friends. Even with friends you can't always be the real you. Other than my husband and my Mom, I don't think I have ever been able to be the real, complete me. There is always a part of me I hold back. I think that is because I really don't like conflict. But last night was the first time I was able to be completely honest with them about things about me and things about them. I love them with all my heart, but the usual me would be afraid to be honest because I wouldn't want to make someone mad or upset them. Last night I was able to be brutally honest and I got to see how a true friend can really appreciate the truth. Sometimes it hurts, but when it comes from the heart and it is only given out of love...the receiver of the information is very appreciative. Last night was the first time I think I have ever experienced that with a friend.
A true friend is so very different than a friend. When you feel comfortable enough to be the complete you..the first time it is almost like standing naked in front of a mirror. There is nowhere to hide any imperfections, anything you thought you could hide...forget it...that is what it felt like last night...take a deep breath and let it go.
It was scary as shit, but yet once you get it out and you are not holding anything back, it really is an amazing feeling. To really be truthful with a friend is like being truthful with yourself. You don't walk away wishing you had said or done something different...because you did it...and your Bestie is still your Bestie.
So if last night was any indication of what 2012 is going to hold for me..I am super excited.
I have such clarity now that I did not have before my surgery. And I think that is also what gave me the strength to try out just being me.
The clarity conversation will be for another time...for now, I am ready, willing and able to take on this New Year and all that it may bring....Happy New Year!
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