Fish or cut bait...

Ok, so as a parent of a child you want to take care of them, protect them, make sure they are always happy. 
Unfortunately or maybe fortunately as they grow you still want to take care of them, but the way in which you want to protect them from everything changes to protecting them from some things and your want to make sure they are always happy gets a reality check and changes to making sure they are usually happy.
Once you figure that out, then you need to figure out how to balance all of those things. Most importantly how to find that balance of when a parent steps in and when a parent watches from the sidelines. 
Protecting them has now become something that you need to not always do so they can figure out how to start protecting themselves.  Caring for them never stops, but part of that is hoping that all the unconditional love you have shown them has taught them how to also care for themselves.  That will give them the inner strength so that when they are in a situation that makes them sad, they can figure a way to work through it and deal with a stiff upper lip.  As far as making sure they are happy, well hopefully that is something that they have learned and maybe are still learning from you.  If they can make themselves happy without always having to rely on someone else, that is an amazing gift.  With these tools our kids are going to come up against situations at school or in sports where they may question is where they are the right or the wrong thing for them.  School is one of those things those tools will hopefully help them to look into their inner strength, put on a stiff upper lip, do what they need to do and eventually teachers, grades or even the school will change for them as they grow.  But they worked through it, giving their all...until they become adults or at least working teens..school should be the only thing that they should be forced to have to just get through. 
When your daughter struggles trying to find her way, and if she still fits, is she happy with where she is, that is hard. What is going on?  Is it her?  Is it others?  Am I getting the full story...or just her perception of it.
Oh my goodness...be there for her, show her love, no judgment towards her or what her perception of what is going on is...just be a sounding board and let her make decisions. There comes a point where sometimes that 11 year old, does have the insight of someone able to think clear and make decisions for herself. For that moment you think holy shit...what I am doing is working. She has been taking things in, even when I didn't think she was. 
Bottom line..I fish and I have decided, there are times that it is ok for me to cut bait and to allow her to make the decision to fish or cut bait...